Filed under: Past Memories
3rd Novemember 2007
Like a child, I always painted a very innocent, naive and beautiful picture when it comes to love. This fairytale ending is what I have been anticipating since young even my family could vouch for that. When I was merely a 6 year old girl, I would confidently remark ” I want a house like this next time!” whenever I passed by a stretch of terraces and bungalows. The idea of a family fascinated me a lot. It contains a magical spark which simply makes a picture complete and a heart wholesome.
For those who know, I am still waiting for that picturesque painting to appear miraculously. Just the other day, when I attended a recruitment talk along with another friend. The concern of clocking the European hours in a local ground struck me: I may end up being an angry, desperate and dull single. That was essence of our conversation for the night about me wanting to find a husband and still wanting to a find husband.
Yeah, I have to admit being an impatient person by nature at times, I do feel that I am dropping behind in this pursuit of love. Needless to say, I have witnessed many who have found their eternal loves since high school period. In a few years’ time, I would soon be invited to wedding ceremonies of people who have once started from the line as I do. The only difference is the distance disparity between me and them.
Still, I am glad that I can remain rational under such irrational situations. Let me first remind myself by clarifying love is not a race. It is indeed nonsensical to calibrate love by the time span taken for one to get married. There is no prize for being first to be hitched. Love does not ends at marriage, it spells greater challenges and responsibilities ahead thereafter. You, he or she could be married tomorrow too but question to ask yourself includes, “Is this eternal love or is it just because you feel obligated to fall in love ?“.
I have translated love into a scenario I always relate to. You used to find people queuing on the same place as you while waiting to board the arriving train. Over time, you become keenly aware that the queue is slowly decreasing but you are still waiting at the exact location trying to carry a glimmer of faith and hope while maintaining your calm. It is not that you cannot board the train but you do not want to because you it leads you to no where. You always believe there is one train which would stop for you while the driver hollers, “Lady! Hop on, please. This train is your ride!“.
The above is simply me for your information. Even if it is the last train, I would remain transfixed to the ground if it is not what I have been waiting for. For some, they feel the obligation to fetch the last train.
Desperate situation calls for desperate people. Eventually, it may turn out fine but I do not want to take any chance in love specially when I have not always been lucky. On the downside, some marriages would lead to divorces. Painful heartbreaks and miserable depression, it is just a waste of both people time. You tried traveling the miles on the train only to realize you have alighted as the same location where you have once boarded.
This analogy always reminds me to retain faith in myself. Frankly speaking, this issue has been eating into me many times. Sometimes, I think that it turns me into a very confused soul. This is no good. For every new individual I have met, unknowingly, I would softly questioned, “Would he be the needle which I have been searching in the haystack?“. Before I know, it pricks! That somebody is either one of those attached, married or just not the right fit to my glove.
God has always assured me that I would meet my true love one day. That is when I really feel comforted and sheltered, making the wait more bearable. I always tell myself, “We save the best for the last. To have found an eternal love is a gem. If it comes to easily, I won’t treasure. If it takes more patience to discover his presence, I know I would learn to cherish more.“
And if I’ve found him one day, I would whack him gently for making me climb the mountains, sail the oceans, resist against the storms, withstand the heat just to meet him. It pays a price to love after all…
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